Love is a Skill, Not a Feeling

We’ve always been told that love is an uncontrollable emotion—something that just happens when you meet the right person. But modern psychology suggests otherwise: love is not just a magical feeling, but a skill that can be learned, practiced, and strengthened over time. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, a leading researcher in positive psychology, describes love as a repeated experience of shared positive emotions rather than a one-time event you “fall into.” This means that successful, long-lasting relationships aren’t built solely on intense passion or perfect compatibility but on the daily habits and intentional actions that nurture love. Studies show that couples who actively practice loving behaviors—even when they don’t necessarily feel “in love” at the moment—tend to have deeper and more resilient relationships. So how do you strengthen love? It’s not about waiting for grand romantic gestures or constantly feeling butterflies; it’s about small, consistent efforts that keep emotional connections alive. Start with daily gratitude—appreciating your partner for who they are, not just for what they do. Engage in new experiences together, as novelty strengthens emotional bonds and prevents stagnation. Prioritize small acts of kindness, like leaving a thoughtful note or offering a genuine compliment, because these everyday actions build a foundation of warmth and connection. Instead of constantly questioning, “Do I still feel in love?” shift your mindset to a more empowering question: “Am I practicing love today?” Love isn’t something that simply lasts on its own—it’s something we choose and cultivate, day after day